Today I met with a close associate who happens to be a researcher. And we were talking through some ideas that I may pursue as a research project. Over time I have developed a thirst for research, more in the form of looking for answers to things I have questions about, than actually being a data cruncher. Ultimately, our discussion came down to the question, "why?" I seem to be fascinated by the question, "why". And I think I have a better understanding of why I ask why.

Purpose is big for me and I need it to help me understand. If I have a better understanding or I can make sense of the purpose, I am more likley to move, act or respond because I have clarity. Asking and answering 'why' helps me get that clarity and ultimately determines the level of importance.

What's the point? So many times we fail to help others understand the question 'why' or why something is important. Yet we ask for cooperation or compliance without clarity. Maybe the lack of understanding or the uncertainty of the purpose is the reason for an unsatisfactory response and not what you thought it was. Have you made it clear why it is important?

A couple of weeks ago I picked up my daughters one morning from a friends house and we went to get breakfast. Usually on Saturday mornings (when I am home), I make breakfast for the girls. It has become our father-duahgter bonding time. That day we were headed to Burger King for some "sticks" (the name Jaylah has given french toast sticks). I was anxious and hungry, too. After placing a big order, I pulled forward and realized that I did not have my wallet. It was a little embarrassing to say the least. Luckily, I was right around the corner from our house. If not, we would have had a situation on our hands - no food and hungry kids.

What's the point? Later on I thought about how easy it is to give or place an order (in a drive thru). As long as you have the means to pay for it, you can have what you want. The same thing is true in our everyday lives. We must not forget that giving ordrers comes with a price. Sometimes it is monetary and most times it is not. But everything costs you something. Make sure you are willing and you have the means to pay. Because you will get what you pay for.

I know that I have a tendency to do things that do not make any sense. (You know, crazy stuff.) It is kind of expected since I used to be a football player. There is nothing sane about running full speed into other people and being excited about it. I kind of use that as my disclaimer when I do questionable things.

The other day, I did something I even thought was crazy. I desperately wanted to wash my SUV. It is black and stays dirty. I noticed that the sky was getting a little dark and it was probably about to rain. A 2-minute shower had just passed about an hour ago. So, I thought it would probably be another quick spinkler and I could get a quick wash in. About half-way into the wash, the heavens openend up and I was soaked in less than a minute. I decided to keep washing. Why? Well I knew that I could at least get the dirt off and the rain would rinse it for me. If the shower passed, I would come out in the evening and dry it off. (I wonder if any of my neighbors saw me and what they must have been thinking.) It turns out, it was a good idea. The rain passed and I went out at about 7:30pm and dried the truck. The next morning it was glistening!

What's the point? I'm not sure there is one. I'm not really trying to encourage you to wash your car in the rain. (I probably won't do it again myself.) But I do think we need to take a few chances in life sometimes. Even if the timing seems to be bad, things may come out glistening. Go ahead and give it a try.

The first place that came to mind was Chick-fil-a. We love that restaraunt and it is always clean (no matter where you go). There was one problem. They are closed on Sunday, and it was Sunday. After my initial disappointment, I started to think about why a fast food business would close on a weekend day. That is the time when you make the most money. Is that good business?

What's the point? This is the time when I normally make one. But I think the owner and founder of Chick-fil-a, S. Truett Cathy does a better job. He said, "Our decision to close on Sunday was our way of honoring God and directing our attention to things more important than our business. If it took seven days to make a living with a restaurant, then we needed to be in some other line of work. Through the years, I have never wavered from that position.”

Mr. Cathy reminded me that I could do my business elsewhere because he had more important business to do. I found another restroom and a lesson on doing what is important to me (no matter who is inconvenienced and how much it costs).

When I was growing up in South Florida, I remember the grass in our yard being green year round. Because of the warm, humid weather, the grass could flourish and maintain its color. The texture was very full, with thick, wide blades. I am not a gardener or one who posesses any knowledge about grass. Therefore, that is about as good of a description as I can give you.

I live in the Northeast now with a very different and changing climate. The grass here definitely needs more TLC, which is something I have not gotten used to. Recently, I asked one of my friends (who knows much more about lawn maintenance then I care to know) how do I keep my grass green, or at least healthy year-round. He told me to purchase a year-round treatment system that has to be applied in each season of the year. He then said I had to wait about a year to see some results. I was disappointed.

What's the point? I would much rather find a treatment that works faster. And I suspect that is how many of us approach change in life. But the fact of the matter is, the kind of change that we often seek takes time. And the treatment process changes as the seasons in our life change. Keep this in mind as you lead yourself and others into change.

My wife hates sports talk radio and forbids me to listen to it while we are in the car together. But I have to admit, it has to be one of my best sources for material. And my overall point is usually not about sports. For instance...

A couple of weeks ago I was driving into the office and heard the usual sports talk radio guys talking about what else, sports. But the debate was about kids and some kid sports leagues not keeping the score of games (i.e. t-ball, baseball, basketball, etc.). The obvious reason given for this is to allow all of the kids to have fun and not be concerned about the score. I get that. But isn't there value in keeping a score, winning, and losing? At 2, 3 and 4 years old, I can see not keeping score. But at what point do the kids learn about winning and losing and how to handle the emotions that go along with that? If we let kids go too long without teaching them about winning and losing, how are we helping them for the competetive world they live in?

What's the point? These young kids that are involved in these scoreless games are being sheltered. And that is ok for a little while. (I actually think it is a good idea to start out.) But at some point they have to be taught that winning and losing are life lessons. Parents and coaches are the leaders who have to engage in the (sometimes) difficult task of developing our future. If we don't everyone gets robbed; the kids who miss an opportunity to learn what it means to be dignified in the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat, and all of us who have to waist time dealing with grown up kids who cannot handle the results of their efforts.

We all know that the world we live in is more open today than ever before. No longer is it taboo for just about anything. To tell you the truth, I am just not suprised by much. In a way that is good. But in some ways it is not so good, because there is an element called self-control or descretion that is probably not exercised the best way. And seeing a woman revealing her underwear in a Target store is exactly the kind of indescretion I am speaking of.

Yes, I did just say that a woman was revealing her underwear in public. For some reason, I do not think that is a good example of what it means to be "transparent." I just happend to be in the store and noticed that the dress this woman was wearing really qualified as a t-shirt because it wasn't close to covering her undergarments.

What's the point? Listen, I know we have moved into a very open and more direct society. And as a young guy myself, I love it. But there is a way to be open and transparent. Shopping in your underwear is slightly different than what I had in mind. Being comfortable in your undewear doesn't mean it is good for everyone to see.  

One of the things that I am trying to remain discipline in doing is controlling the amount of food I consume at one time. This can be difficult for someone like me because eating is one of my favorite past times. (As a matter of fact, I am thinking about what I want to eat right now.) I realized a while ago, that I need to stop eating when I feel myself getting full. When I reach the point where I am "stuffed", it's too late.

How many times have you consumed more than you should and you knew that you probably should have stopped sooner? If you were raised like I was, you were taught to consume everything in front of you before you left the table. Unfortunately, this is the same message that popular culture is promoting as well. Consume all that you see in front of you. But when is it appropriate to stop?

What's the point? Consuming too much is never a good thing. If hogs around the world understood that they would not constantly consume the food given to them 24/7 to make them fat and there would definitely be a bacon shortage. The bottom line is, greed is what we are being conditioned to believe is ok. As a result, people are losing jobs, homes, and their entire lives because they thought it was ok to consume everything in front of them.

Elevators are such a wonderful addition to our lives. (Although, many of us should take the stairs more often.) Can you imagine having to walk up or down several flights of steps all of the time, in every building you entered? We do get a glimpse of what that would be like from time to time when elevators are not working in a particular place. It is at that moment that we realize how much we depend on this convenient transport. The push of one button can take us up or down. Unfortunately, so many of us are so eager to get a ride, we often hop on and head in the wrong direction.

What's the point? It's simple; make sure you are going in the right direction. How many times have you pushed the up/down button and walked onto the elevator as soon as the door opened, only to realize it was not going in the direction you needed to go? This is the same thing that happens in our everyday life. We indicate we would like to move in a particular direction, a door opens, we walk through it, the door closes, and we realize this is not the right way. Who knows how far or how many stops have to be made before you can go the right way. Who has time to ride in the wrong direction?

Ok, Im still on the driving analogies....

Traffic, traffic, traffic. I do not know who enjoys sitting in a car inching along not knowing when the madness will end. (If you are one of those people who doesn't mind it, either you have a rare kind of patience or you need to make an appointment for a CAT scan.) As I was saying, traffic is usually an unwelcomed site and most of us avoid it if we can. But  is that always the best thing to do? Maybe, maybe not.

Monday I was driving on the Capital Beltway (notorious for traffic at any given moment) and I noticed terrible traffic in the opposite direction, I thought to myself, "I can't go home that way." But as I began to think about alternative routes, none of them made any sense and they were so out of the way. The way I came was the best route. I reluctantly returned to the beltway to go back home. Much to my suprise, the traffc I anticipated was gone and I made it home with no problems. What if I had gone another way?

What's the point? Always take the best route regardless of the cuircumstances. Sometimes there is traffic or delays. And sometimes you get fortunate and it is smooth sailing. But often we go so far out of the way to avoid being delayed and it may not be necessary. Plus it often takes us the same amount of time or longer to get where we are going. I know our travels can be frustrating at times. But try to be more patient and take the best route. Eventually you will get where you need to be.